I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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