i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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