She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
