She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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