My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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