You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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