Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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