Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize