About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
