all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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