Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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