you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
