I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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