we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just want to make out with him forever
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
