Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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