The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
