i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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