I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Damn victory sex feels great
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
