His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
