Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
