I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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