And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
