Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
