smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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