Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
