Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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