Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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