today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
