I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
