i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
