I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
