I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
