just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
