Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
