Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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