After last night, I could never be a politician.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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