He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
