a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
