I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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