You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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