why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
