I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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