hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize