They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
