I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Be still, my beating vagina.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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