My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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