She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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