and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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