he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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