I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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