So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Can Purell be used as lube?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
