Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
