I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
