Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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