i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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