this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
