Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
