The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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