omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
this just has baby written all over it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
