so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
