so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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