Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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