had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
