so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
